Rod-West
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Secrets of a Great Marriage

3/27/2013

4 Comments

 
Marriage is a choice of freewill based upon one's rational choice 
intellectually. Our goal should be to find a good person not a perfect person.
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Over the next few weeks I’ll be writing several blogs about the biblical idea of marriage, and how to make our marriages better based upon the teachings and principles found in the Bible. No matter what the Supreme Court might decide based upon the arguments heard this week in regards to gay marriage, the Scriptures are clear as to what constitutes a marriage in the eyes of God. This institution has been and will always be a covenant relationship between one man and one woman for life. The Old Testament paints marriage as a spiritual picture of God’s relationship with Israel, just as the New Testament provides a similar portrayal of the relationship Christ has with His church.

On June 18 of this year my wife and I will celebrate our 30th anniversary, and through our years together we have experienced many things both good and bad. During our most trying times God has always provided for our needs, but particularly He has provided us with comfort and guidance when all seemed to be lost. Because of His presence we have a stronger relationship with each other, and we believe it is the acknowledgment and practice of His Word that continues to bind us together. The things of which I will write over the next few weeks will be based upon what I’ve learned in my own marriage, education, and the 20 plus years of pastoral care counseling I’ve done with hundreds of couples.

First, as Christians we are to view marriage as a sacred gift from God. As we comb the Scriptures it’s easy to see how the idea of marriage belongs to God alone, and it is to be highly valued and protected by those who hold to the Bible as true. A high priority is placed upon marriage because of what it represents and the foundation it provides for a stable society.

We should also be reminded that we were created for fellowship as designed by God in order to ultimately glorify Him. Some mistakenly teach that our spouse is a gift which is to complete us, yet the truth is our spouse is to complement us in our work and service together for God. The “helpmate” spoken of in Genesis 2:18 is one who provides strength where the other is weak and vice versa.

Genesis 2:18 (ESV) Then the LORD God said, “It is not good that 
the man should be alone; I will make him a helper fit for him.”
As a husband, if I truly believe that my wife is God’s gift to me then I should see her as something precious and of great value which I would want to protect. As a wife, if I believe my husband is God’s gift to me then I too would place great value upon him and would seek to be a support in order to help meet his needs. God’s idea of marriage is to be balanced and mutually fulfilling, and if we approach it as such then our relationships with each other will be much more rewarding.

Secondly, many relationships in our culture today began on the wrong footing because they are based upon a physical attraction. These marriages and relationships are primarily expressed through physical intimacy and are rarely strong enough to last. Typically one or both suffer with low self-esteem which ultimately leads to a relationship with fewer outside friends because the physical contact becomes all-consuming. True intimacy suffers because these couples really never learn how to communicate with each other, and their relationship is normally over within a three to five year period of time.

Third, the ideal foundation for a marriage is built upon a friendship based upon common goals and attitudes which are primarily rooted in a belief in Jesus Christ. If Christ is at the center of each individual’s life within a relationship, then He also becomes the connecting ligament that holds the relationship together. While our spouses complement us it is Christ Who completes us.

If we hold Christ in common with our spouse then this one shared focus provides us a consistent foundation to build upon. It is a proven fact that those who hold similar religious views and levels of commitment are more likely to stay together. In reality your spouse should be your best friend upon this earth. This is the person who you are intimate with physically, emotionally, and spiritually. This is also the person who is your closest confidant next to Christ, and who lifts you in prayer when all others willingly forsake you.

I leave you with this thought which I've shared with many others; “If you desire a better wife then be a better husband, and if you desire a better husband then be a better wife.” Continue to develop your friendship. Spend time together in the daily routines of life. Attend church together, pray together, develop new interest together, but most of all walk together in Christ praying for one another and being a strength where the other is weak.

In Christ,
Rod
4 Comments
Bill Dodge
3/29/2013 03:55:18 am

Title: THANK YOU IS NEVER ENOUGH
I thank Jesus for shouldering my sins and taking them to the cross so that I can have a loving relationship with the Father, but thank you is never enough. There isn't a language that contains the words adequate to state what the Father, Jesus and the Holy Spirit have done to show their precious love for us.
The above title applies to you also Pastor Rod, "thank you in not enough", hopefully listening and applying your words of wisdom and submitting to the will of the Father will please both of you.
God bless you and Teresa and may you both have a joyful Easter, Bill

Reply
Rod West
3/29/2013 09:06:54 am

Thanks is more than enough for me Bill, but you're right when it comes to what Christ has done for us because mere words will never be enough. Live in submission continuously for Christ. Let me remind you of first Corinthians chapter 4:1-5: "This is how one should regard us, as servants of Christ and stewards of the mysteries of God. Moreover, it is required of stewards that they be found trustworthy. But with me is very small thing that I should be judged by you or by any human court. In fact I do not even judge myself. For I am not aware of anything against myself, but I am not thereby acquitted. It is the Lord who judges me. Therefore do not pronounce judgment before the time, before the Lord comes, who will bring to light the things now hidden in darkness and will disclose the purposes of the heart. Then each one will receive his commendation from God."

Be blessed!

Reply
Andrew Murray
3/29/2013 06:11:38 am

Thank you for the "refresher course" Rod. It was about 5 years ago Deanna and I came to you for premarital counseling. This August will be 6 years of incredibly fun and fulfilling marriage to my best friend. Thank you for your wisdom then and now. May God bless you and your family.

Reply
Rod West
3/29/2013 09:09:16 am

Wow, it doesn't seem like it's been that long ago. I'm very happy for the two of you and I pray that you both will continue to live for God as He is called you to do, and that your life together will be a blessing to many. Thank you for reading and sharing!

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