As human beings we are prone to do some dumb things at times. Back in the 90s I was invited to speak to a congregation looking for a pastor, and the message I was to deliver that Sunday would be my trial sermon. This particular church had a habit of taking prayer requests before the message, and this prayer was to be led by the pastor.

Typically when I take prayer requests I write them down, and when I pray I look at my list in order to make sure all have been mentioned. On this particular Sunday there were a great many requests, and one was for a young man believed to be suffering muscular dystrophy, (MD). As I was approaching the end of my prayer I began to close my eyes, and I proceeded to say:

By this point it was too late because I could hear the snickering of many in the congregation. So what did I do? I did what any minister would do; I kept going hoping the people would forget and that my embarrassment would soon fade. The funny thing is this young man’s mother was on the pulpit committee, and a week later the church called me to be their pastor. By the way, this dear lady is a wonderful Christian, and I’m not sure if she even remembers the dumb thing I said on that day.

Again we all do some dumb things from time to time, but the reason we do them varies from person to person. Sometimes we do dumb things without thinking. Often these are impulsive responses in which we react to the actions of others out of anger or shock. At other times we do dumb things out of disobedience. Then there are times we do dumb things because we’re ignorant. Oliver B. Greene made a statement once that resonated with me about the beliefs people fervently hold to; his statement was: “You can be sincere, and sincerely wrong.” He was speaking in reference to one’s belief about salvation, but this can also apply to many other areas of our lives. There are times when we would rather forfeit truth than face the reality we've made a mistake or heaven forbid we've been proven wrong.

This brings me to the Body of Christ and Her focus. It’s not unusual for followers of Christ to ignorantly center their attention on the “here and now” while stating they believe something different. Our worship and the fluent use of “Christian speak” looks and sounds spiritual until we realize we’re living for the moment and not what lies ahead in Christ. There appears to be a vast shallowness in the present Church, yet many worshipers are oblivious or even blind to this superficiality.

The question is why?

Some individuals would rather live in a state of denial than deal with the reality of their spiritual shallowness. Another reason is many of our spiritual leaders are superficial themselves and seek nothing more than to elicit an emotional response in order to gain an audience. For some there is no genuine care, compassion, or concern for the spiritual growth of the flock. The bottom line for some spiritual leaders lies within numbers, ego, and leaving an earthly legacy.

As true followers of Christ we should strive for several things:

Blessings,
Rod

I've been reminded numerous times recently we can count on facing times of opposition when we follow God by standing for truth, and on the principles which govern our lives. We can be sure the world will oppose us when we stand for Christ, but what is sometimes shocking is that our opposition comes from within the body of Christ. Sociologists tell us that some of the greatest conflicts arise within groups rather than between groups, and this even happens in the Church today.

The Scriptures are full of examples where conflict occurs among the people of Israel and the Church. Twice in the New Testament we read of the Apostle Paul in disputes with Barnabas and the Apostle Peter. In his dissension with Barnabas the issue was over opinions involving John Mark (Acts 15:36 – 41), but with Peter the dividing issue concerned doctrine and hypocrisy (Galatians 2:11 – 21). In the first instance some scholars believe Paul was simply being stubborn and rigid; in fairness it should be stated that Paul and Silas were successful in their missionary endeavors. In the second case the Apostle Paul was absolutely right in standing against Peter and his actions.

Certainly there should be opposition within the Church concerning the teachings of false doctrines especially regarding salvation, sexuality, and hell just to name a few. But when opposition takes place within the Church because of blind loyalty, arrogance, insecurities, money, and a thirst for power it reveals a deep seeded carnality that is surely displeasing to God. The word “oppose” literally means to do the opposite by acting against as a hindrance. In the Christian realm it isn’t unusual to find individuals who deliberately turn from truth and reality rather than deal with issues honestly. All too often numerous Christians are willing to overlook these issues because of likability, charisma, friendships, and other costs associated with accountability.

So how do we overcome the opposition both in and outside the Church?

In one of the books I once read by Dr. David Jeremiah, (I can’t remember which book), but he quotes an old Southern preacher that I believe best sums up my statements in this blog. The quote is as follows:

Blessings,
Rod

This has been VBS week in the church where I serve, and once again as the week draws to an end the children are still full of energy and the workers are dead tired. Like other churches that hold this annual event all the children come from various backgrounds. There are obviously ethnic differences as well as economic and religious differences, yet each child is unique personally with their own traits and tendencies. Their behaviors run the gamut from the gregarious and rambunctious to the meek and mild wallflower. Clearly some of these children need more attention from adult staff because of their uniqueness. A few of our workers have devoted much of their time to the special needs of some children because of certain behaviors exhibited, and this reminded me of the first position I held after graduating from Liberty University.

In 1986 I began working in a children’s group home for Forsyth-Stokes Mental Health near Winston-Salem North Carolina. My primary task was twofold; develop behavior plans for the aggressive and assaultive children living in the home, and to also help the staff with the implementation of these plans. Working directly for the state of North Carolina I was led to believe the Christian model of psychology couldn’t be used for these particular children. Being limited to the use of only secular models and philosophies in developing these behavior plans prove to be frustrating for me. After a few months I found most of the staff, (which were all trained at secular universities), having a greater influence upon me than I did upon them. The descriptive phrase, “young and dumb” fit me perfectly, and it wouldn’t be until several years later that I realized Christian principles and practice need not be limited to only religious settings.

What I discovered was that the Christian model of psychology, counseling, and coaching can work just as well in a secular setting because of the sure foundation upon which it is built. Scriptural principles always work because they’re God directed no matter what a person does or doesn’t believe. Human beings are limited but God is not. I’ve worked with many couples and families through the years that might well be considered “Christian” in name only, yet many of the strategies and techniques used with traditional Christian families often works for them too. Once again the reasons these tactics work is because they’re fixed in the truth of Scripture.

This brings me to my main point in regards to behaviors and Christian principles. Although the behaviors during VBS were much milder than those I saw in the group home setting in 1986 they’re still rooted in the same soil. Children are egocentric and naturally sinful. This isn’t meant to be a derogatory statement but a statement of fact. That cute little child that makes you laugh and smile with the little things they do and say can turn on you in a heartbeat. As I’ve said many times before, “No parent has ever had to teach his or her child how to be bad.” We are born with a predisposition to sin, and what we need is for someone or something to teach us how to be good.

I can’t tell you the number of times I’ve heard adults make this statement about an unruly child, “he or she just needs to be loved.” I agree every child needs to be loved, but that love needs to be demonstrated with discipline and consistency. These two aspects or characteristics of love fall under the broader idea of commitment. As parents we need to exhibit the type of love and commitment to our children that God has demonstrated toward us. It isn’t our words which display this commitment but our actions. 

No doubt some will read this and assume I’m advocating corporal punishment for every childhood transgression and nothing could be further from the truth. Personally, I did spank my children when they were young, but it was very limited and only for certain offenses. Now by no means am I suggesting that my wife and I have been the world’s greatest parents, but we did make certain agreements that we believe made a difference in rearing our children.

First, we made a covenant commitment that we would love each other no matter what the other said or did, and that divorce would never be an option. We thought it important that our sons see us live out this covenant commitment especially when times were tough. Second, we made a commitment that our children would be raised in a Christian home and in the Church. It was important to both of us that our children see us pray and study the Word of God, as well as carrying out ministries through the local church. Our thought was, “How can we expect our children to live committed lives of discipline and consistency if we didn’t?” Now to be frank with you there were times we failed, but fortunately when one faltered the other remained strong with God’s help.

As for the writer of Hebrews, the discipline he speaks of took on various forms. God’s discipline is always as a loving Father based upon the covenant relationship He has entered into with His people. No matter the type of punishment God carries out, it’s always to restore our broken relationship with Him, and is in conjunction with the covenant established by Christ through the cross. The passage above indicates that when discipline is carried out correctly it results in changed behavior and respect for the one who disciplines.

This brings me to my second point and the use of covenants. Our God is a covenant God, meaning He has entered into a relationship with each believer built upon a promise that cannot be broken. The word covenant means “testament,” and in essence is a sealed treaty or agreement between two parties that can only be terminated by death. The Scriptures are ripe with covenant agreements especially in the Old Testament. God entered into covenant agreements with Abraham, Noah, and David just to name a few. The relationship He has with Israel is spoken of in covenantal terms just as the relationship Christ has with His Church. Every marriage is a covenant relationship, and I believe every family has a covenant relationship whether they acknowledged it or not.

With each covenant there are certain promises we make to one another. As parents there are certain promises and agreements we make to our children simply by the act of becoming a parent. As Christians we believe God has entrusted children to us as stewards with the idea that we will nurture and raise them in accordance with His commands.

To make a long story short, while working on my Master’s degree it occurred to me that as Christians we need to help every family be as strong as they can possibly be in order to survive the rigors of this life. I thought why not take the approach God did with Israel and the Church since He is the Originator of covenant relationships. What if we could aid moms and dads who have children with behavior issues by helping them create and write their own family covenant? This would be a tangible way of demonstrating our commitment to one another in the home, and providing new and innovative ways to deal with the problems that often arise.

Below is a picture of an actual Family Covenant that you are free to use. Every family covenant should have certain “nonnegotiables” based upon core values, and a statement on “Plans of Action.” These plans deal directly with certain problematic behaviors and change as the child ages.

If you’d like to know more on how to develop a Family Covenant of your own, or “Plans of Action” for your child/children please don’t hesitate to contact me.

Blessings,
Rod

For the Christian, a focused life is one that is intentionally centered on Christ which should lead to a sense of lasting peace, but this can’t be achieved without prayer and a right frame of mind. The Apostle Paul in his letter to the Church at Philippi connects the availability of peace with a consistent prayer life and laser-like thinking.

Let’s remember, Paul is writing from Rome during one of his imprisonments, and his life is in the hands of Caesar awaiting judgment. Difficulties have a way of bringing either chaos due to the uncertainties before us, or they bring moments of extreme focus where survival and relief are sought. In either case we can choose to worry or trust God to bring about a sense of peace. By no means am I saying that the anxiety we experience due to a myriad of stressors in life is easy to overcome, but there is a spiritual formula to follow in a manner of speaking. Note the Apostle’s words in the fourth chapter of Philippians:

First, of all people in the city of Rome the Apostle Paul had a reason to be anxious considering his circumstances. Earlier in the book of Philippians he gives some indication to his readers about the uncertainty he has of the emperor’s decision regarding his life, but no matter the choice Paul is ready to meet Christ or continue with his ministry if given the opportunity.

Secondly we should note the Scriptures indicate there are two types of peace; one is judicial and the second is experiential. Judicial peace is gained through our faith in Christ as addressed in Romans 5:1. Experiential peace is the day by day peace experienced by the believer as he/she walks with Christ, and it is this type of peace Paul speaks of in the passage above. Many of us as Christians forfeit this experiential peace through the worry and anxiety we allow to overwhelm us. Judicial peace on the other hand can never be lost once given to the believer because of our justification in Christ. We should also note here that before we can experience peace from God we must first be at peace with God.

A focused life is not to be mistaken with a life free from pain and trouble. All of us experience hardships from time to time, but the difficulties we face need not rob us of our peace. As I stated earlier Paul provides us with a spiritual formula or pattern to follow in order to continuously experience God’s peace. Again this is easier said than done, but the possibility remains for the believer to have a sense of comforting peace.

The first step as revealed in Philippians 4:6 is through prayer and petitioning God with our every need. Notice that the Apostle Paul tells us this is to be done with a sense of “thanksgiving,” which in turn suggests an earnest expectation on the believer’s part that God hears and responds. The idea is that the act of prayer and communion with God is a “constant” in the believer’s life. In other words we are to pray and pray again, and again, and again. It is through this consistent lifestyle that we begin to experience the peace of God mentally and spiritually.

Yet there is more to this process; our prayers are to be specifically focused. Read verse eight again in the passage above and notice that the Apostle Paul instructs us to think upon certain things. The word “think” literally means to “consider” or “ponder.” William Barclay once said:

Barclay is quite right and we should realize our thinking normally takes one of several forms; it’s negative or positive, earthly or spiritual.

In our daily walk with Christ and in our prayers we’re to focus our thinking on what is genuine, honorable, right, morally pure, pleasing, gracious, of highest-quality, and worthy of praise. All of these are not only attributes of Christ, but what is right with the life we have in Christ.

My wife Teresa often reminds me our attention needs to be on the many good things provided by God rather than the few negative things which we sometimes allow to creep into our lives. When our thinking is centered on Christ, and we’re consistent in our prayer life then experiential peace is certainly attainable. The Apostle Paul in Philippians 4:9 speaks from experience and maybe we should follow his advice.

Let me make a suggestion to those who may be struggling with worry and anxiety due to present difficulties. Set a specific time aside every day to pray for the many needs in your life and the needs of others. Start a prayer journal and write as you pray. Pray through passages you find meaningful, reassuring, and comforting. And by all means be continuously prayerful taking everything before the throne of God because He cares for you.

Blessings,
Rod