For the last few years I've been on a journey to discover the biblical Church. The beginning of this expedition started with a sense of conviction that many of our activities in the modern Church are self-centered rather than Christ-centered. Success is often viewed through the prism of programs, numbers, and building projects. The idea seems to be: “Better programs lead to greater numbers and bigger churches.” No doubt we've all heard the argument that “Church A” must be doing something right because of the number of people who attend on a given Sunday. But I think we should challenge ourselves to look beyond the figures and into the actual families and individuals who make up these numbers. Things are not always as they appear. It’s easy to put on a façade one day a week.

In a somewhat intense discussion with one church leader I recently made a statement that was met with shock and denial. In the context of conceding to the “bigger must be better mentality,” and with little or no focus on biblical accountability I said, “It appears some Church leaders are more concerned with butts in the seat and dollars in the plate.” If we truly love God and the people we serve then shouldn't we be concerned with true biblical discipleship? Are we in fact doing things in the Church by God’s design? About three years ago I read “Pagan Christianity” by Frank Viola and George Barna which challenged my own thinking about how we “do church” today.

I wasn't raised in a Christian home, and so when I entered the ministry I assumed a lot of the way we do things in the Church to be biblical. I don’t believe those I looked to in the early years meant to mislead me or anyone else. I do believe, however, these leaders simply followed the patterns others before them had followed.

Through the modern era we have systematically separated the family within the Church by age and preference. In order to experience a greater sense of “worship” we place our children in “Children’s Church,” and our youth in a “Youth” program. We've developed a mentality which is destructive to the family and Church by adopting the belief; “Our youth are the future of the Church.” The reality is that children and youth who have accepted Christ are part of the Church today.

The Scriptures indicate a family integrated form of worship, yet the Church seems to have taken a different direction. In order to be seeker sensitive and “family-friendly” we've incorporated many worldly customs in order to draw a crowd rather than equip the Church to carry out one of Her first missions – biblical education in the home.

I think we've placed our youth in a precarious position by providing separate worship experiences, meeting places, times, and event driven activities which appeal to a more secular mindset. By segregating our young people from their parents we've created an atmosphere which is more destructive than helpful. The Church has taken a position of leading our children that does not rightly belong to her. The greatest teachers a child should have are Christian parents and in particular Christian fathers.

How was I wrong? I was wrong because at one time I supported the bigger is better and multi-program ideas without giving them much thought.

The video below is entitled, “Divided the Movie”, and is fifty-four minutes long. I highly encourage you to watch this video, or simply listen to it while you surf the web. I truly believe you’ll find it beneficial and eye-opening.

Blessings,
Rod 

Ravi Zacharias is one of the most respected, if not the most respected, Christian apologist in the world today. His comments on America and the state of the American Church are spot on. Every follower of Christ should take seriously what he has to say in regards to our future and that of the world.

Rod West, DBS

I am a firm believer in Jesus Christ, and am recovering from substance abuse and co dependency. 

When I was born my biological father left my mother because of her pregnancy with me. He didn't want me or any other children for that matter. I never knew my father, nor have I ever met or seen him at all. This was the first of many rejections in my life.

My mother remarried when I was three and her new husband adopted me. As far back as I can remember my mother always seemed to manage her troubles by drinking alcohol. Most of my memories of her consist of her being either drunk, asleep or at work leaving my two sisters and me to fend for ourselves. I never could understand what was so wrong with us that she felt she needed to drink all the time. She and my dad separated, divorced and remarried several times until they finally divorced for good before I was a teenager. My mother continued to drink heavily, and my extended family chose to ignore the problem. This left my two sisters and me unsupervised most of the time, and free to do whatever we wanted.

The next major crisis in my life came when I was twelve. I was riding my bicycle near home one day and a drunk driver leaving a bar lost control of his motorcycle and ran into me. I was catapulted through the air a very long way and hit my head on the pavement. I suffered extensive brain trauma and was in a coma for three weeks. When I awoke it seemed I was not the same child at all.

I continually struggled emotionally not caring anymore about most anything, and I was determined I was going to do whatever I wanted regardless of the circumstances. To cope with any further pain of rejection I would just get drunk, smoke pot and take harder drugs. I used anyone who tried to help me in order to get what I wanted and then discard them. I was afraid to let anyone get close because I felt they too would reject me sooner or later. Through all this my sisters and I continued to be taken to church where I heard that Jesus loved me, but I couldn’t understand why.  In my mind, I felt no one else loved me so why would He. I continued to rebel and had multiple run-ins with the law for minor things. I was suspended or expelled from school more than I can remember. Deep down I just wanted someone to care enough to stop me. Basically I just wanted someone to love me.

When I was fifteen both of my sisters and I started to be placed in and out of foster care, as my mother was either in no condition to take care of us or I was in getting into trouble. While in foster care a couple from our church actually became my foster parents. The man who was my foster dad, who was supposed to protect me and provide for me, sexually molested me. At church one day I decide to talk to the pastor to see if he could help me.  I was shocked when this pastor asked, “What did I expect?” He said I deserved it, and this totally turned me off to church and God.

After this my life began to spiral even faster and further downhill. I started snorting cocaine, stealing, lying, and making up stories just to get attention. At the age of sixteen I attempted to end my life by taking a whole bunch of pills. This was my plan to end things, but obviously it was not God’s plan; He was not finished with me yet.

I did manage to graduate from high school when I was seventeen, and the day after I graduated my mother decided to throw me out. During this time I lived with a friend, and was taking care of her children while going to college. I was still partying and trying to enjoy life, but inside I was growing empty and getting worse.

My next crisis…

When I was 20 I was raped by my supposed boyfriend, and this resulted in me becoming pregnant. I had my daughter Ashley on April 2, 1986. Shortly after her birth I had to have an emergency hysterectomy, and so she was going to be my only child. I had no clue how to take care of her so for the first three months of her life, my sisters and my aunt took care of her. When she was three months old we moved in with another family from church. They honestly thought they were doing the right things trying to help me the best way they knew how, but they were members of a very strict and religious church with many rules which we had to follow. I struggled with conforming to the church’s lifestyle. However, during this time with them I did learn how to care for my daughter.

When Ashley was two we moved out, and were on our own trying to start over again. When I was twenty-three I began to think back on my relationship with Christ. I knew a lot about church and felt like I knew a lot about God, but I also had many doubts. Fortunately, I had a friend who was also a Sunday School teacher and I went to her with my questions. She guided me through the scriptures, and once and for all I settled it in my mind and heart committing my life to Jesus Christ.

God started working on me but I still struggled. I never felt I was growing closer to God, but I was constantly reminded of the rules and regulations my church family expected me to follow. Everything seemed rigid and hard. There was no joy in my relationship – just rules. So all I did was check off the boxes. It didn’t mean anything because I never had the close relationship with God or anyone for that matter except my daughter.

Soon though, it was in this church that I met a guy named Mike. Mike was a Sunday School teacher, and very involved in the church. We were friends at first but it quickly became more. Mike seemed perfect for me. He was the love of my life, and my soul mate. But because Mike had been through a divorce, when we got married in 1992 we were removed from all ministries and leadership of the church. This was a very painful experience for both of us, but this church was all we knew so we pressed on.

After we married Mike adopted Ashley. For twelve years we had many good times as well as some tough times. Increasingly times grew mostly tough because it seemed I was allowing Ashley do things Mike didn’t agree with. We definitely had different ideas on how to raise this young girl. We fought over Ashley going to a public school, attending school dances, and other similar things. Finally it became too much. We thought divorce was the answer, and after two years we remarried. I thought this would finally fix things and we could move forward, but little did I know that this solution would only last a short time. Ten days after we remarried I came home and found my husband on the floor dead from a heart attack. Again my world was tossed into another downward spiral. At this time Ashley also tumbled hard down her own hill. I always thought I could fix Ashley, but I began to see that I couldn’t. The fact was Ashley couldn’t even fix herself, and it was going to take something or someone bigger than us.

During this time Ashley started taking pills because she could not handle the pain of her dad’s death; medication and alcohol was a way for her to escape the pain. When she realized she was taking way too many pills she gave them up for a while, but only to replace the pills with more alcohol. She was running downhill so fast, and it seemed I couldn’t do anything to save her.

She called me one night and told me she was going to see her Dad. I left work and returned home to find her barely breathing on the floor. She had taken an overdose of pills along with a lot of alcohol. When she woke up I decided I had to do something, and so I made her get some help. I gave her two options. Either go check in as an inpatient at a treatment center somewhere, anywhere, or go to Louisiana to my sisters to dry out and get help. She chose Louisiana.

Two days after she got out of the hospital I put her on a plane to Louisiana. It was there that she found Celebrate Recovery, and finally got some the help she needed; best of all she found her own personal relationship with Jesus Christ. A year later she even found a young man and got married. A few months after they married and her husband was about to deploy… surprise – she found out she was pregnant.

Her husband was going to be overseas so I decided to come be with her to help when she had the baby. I ended up selling everything and moving to Louisiana in November of 2010. I didn’t really know why I was leaving all I had known for 45 years, but it just seemed like that it was what I needed to do. Looking back I now know why. God moved me here to get a hold of me. He moved me, and put me in a different culture where there was love and acceptance. As I watched my daughter in her new relationship with Jesus she had what I never had –Joy! God had a plan and knew where I needed to be to understand that He loves me just as I am. He set things up so I could move and see my need for Him. Even though I had accepted Him in my heart I didn’t enjoy a close relationship with Him, but now I had an entirely new perspective – not so much about rules and behavior but about love and acceptance. Things now seemed to be going really well.

 But again it didn’t last long. On January 17, 2012, the best part of my life came to a sudden end. I came home and found my daughter, who in a brief moment of desperation had taken her own life. You see although she had a new relationship with Jesus, a new husband, a precious baby girl, Ashley still had some struggles of her own, and unhealthy ways of dealing with them. It happened so fast. I was so shocked and angry that she would do this, and even more mad that God would let her do this.

I had closed the door once before, but this time I felt like I slammed the door on God. What kind of God would allow this? But, even as I tried to leave God, God did not leave me. I know now He has been with me all along. He has never left me. I am so glad my small doors can’t keep God out.

It is an unbelievably difficult thing to try to adjust and recover from the loss of a child – my only child – my entire world. For two months I was completely numb. I don’t even remember much of the days and weeks that followed. This past summer I hit a very low point in my life, and I was at my bottom. I was desperate. I longed for my daughter. I was determined to go see Ashley one-way or the other, and I felt like I had reached the end. But God had other plans. I was at the end, but He was just at the beginning. He wasn’t ready for me to go anywhere yet. At the precise moment I had enough pills in my hand, and I was ready to end my life a very close friend contacted me on the phone.  It was then that I realized I couldn’t do this to my friends or my family. Regardless of how I felt about me I couldn’t do this to them.

I had been attending Celebrate Recovery for a little while, but I wasn’t working the steps or anything. I was going but I not doing. I was still so angry and bitter at God for taking my daughter, but it was here that I began my journey back to God. I also started seeing a counselor, and a life coach. I now had a team of support. God kept pursuing me.  He wanted a deeper relationship with me. There was no way I could get through this on my own. God had been showing His love to me through all of these events.

Through much prayer and guidance on Dec 24, 2012 I totally surrendered everything to God, and made Him the center of my life. This was a first for me. Ashley had always been the center of my life for 25 years. I had always thought if she was the center of my life she would always need me, and that would make me happy. I finally came to realize that all I truly needed was Jesus. I knew this but never really experienced before – Jesus loved ME, and with a love that surpasses any other kind of love from anyone. I have found my worth in Him, and I was finally able to walk forward in this light. After embracing this, and making Jesus my new center I also realized the pain medication I had been on for my knees was becoming a problem. I stopped taking the medication and I’m trusting Jesus with my pain.

No matter what’s in my past I know that Jesus loves me. Now, because what God has done for me I’ve forgiven the people in my past that had hurt me. I am realizing and enjoying that I am fearfully and wonderfully made. I’ve come to realize this past year was necessary to get me where I am now with God. I never felt His love like I do now, and I firmly believe if Ashley were here I might never have had this relationship with God. My greatest need is not to be needed; my greatest need is Jesus Christ.

I’ve prayed that God would open doors for me to minister to others in this hurting world, others who are suffering like I have suffered. God is starting to open doors, and I cannot wait to see what He has for me this new year.

Thank you for letting me share my testimony with you,
Kellie Brown


Kellie can be found on Facebook at: https://www.facebook.com/KellieJBrownChristianLifeCoach

Marriages are constantly under attack today, and the Christian home is not exempt. The numbers can be overwhelming and sometimes misleading. People are waiting longer to get married in our culture, but this isn’t necessarily a good thing. More couples are choosing to cohabitate than ever before and only consider marriage after the fact. The truth is most couples who choose to live together outside of marriage end their relationship within the first five years. Those who do marry often face greater issues which eventually lead to divorce for a significant number.

Here are some startling facts:

The Church has a responsibility to proclaim the truth of God’s design for marriage as outlined in His Word. This design is reflected in the relationship God the Father has with Israel, and the relationship Christ has with His Church. The formula is very simple; one man plus one woman in a holy union for life, (Genesis 2:23-24). Cohabitation outside the bond of marriage is sin, and in the long run weakens the family unit because of the philosophical mindset from which it was entered. The justification of sinful behavior is always counterproductive and usually destructive.

Please don’t misunderstand. Many relationships begin sinfully, but the potential long term damage of the sin of cohabitation can be limited through repentance. I’ve dealt with many couples wishing to marry who began by cohabitating, and my advice is always the same – STOP. Confess your sin and repent; then we can begin in earnest with the premarital work that needs to be done, and help limit the possibility of a future divorce.       

As the Body of Christ we have a responsibility to strengthen and equip families for the rigors of daily life. Christian homes and relationships are just as susceptible to caustic cultural trends and philosophies as are non-Christian.  

So how do we strengthen and equip Christian couples and families?

First and foremost through the sound teaching of God’s Word. In Coaching and Pastoral Care I often share with others that once we've been made aware of why we do the things that we do, we no longer have an excuse to continue with the same behaviors. In reality there’s never a good excuse for our sinful actions.

Second, we’re to hold husbands and wives, moms and dads, and as members of one another in the Church accountable to the commitments we've made. Scripture reveals God is serious about commitments, and we should be too as followers of Christ.

Lastly, the Church needs more long time Christian couples to mentor newly married couples. The truth be told, I believe the mentoring process should begin during courtship. Older established couples have a perspective that only comes with experience, and this knowledge can aid young couples in heading off potential problems.      

Blessings,
Rod

The statistics above are support by a number of resources:

http://www.cdc.gov/nchs/fastats/divorce.htm
https://www.barna.org/
http://www.foryourmarriage.org/
http://www.pewsocialtrends.org/search/marriage+and+divorce/

We are called to live holy lives as Christians which is a constant struggle because of our “flesh.” Believers are to flee what is un-holy by fleeing to the One Who is Holy.

Blessings,
Rod

Do you remember the children’s song “This Little Light of Mine”?

Remember how it goes?

There is no doubt that secular society has a negative view of the Church today, and most attributed this to the behaviors of Christians. It’s certainly understandable why some may believe this way when it’s often hard to identify Christians from non-Christians. Our culture is a self-centered one, and to many it appears Christians habitually forget they’re to be light bearers and not the light. As believers we need to remember the life we live is not our own, and the light that shines within us should be reflective of Christ. There’s no room in the Church for narcissism, yet when we take to the stage of Christendom in order to draw attention to self we automatically obscure the true Light. When our words and actions are self promoting it damages the testimony and cause of Christ.

In Patrick Morley’s book “I Surrender” he makes this interesting statement:

I’ve found through my years of ministry that a great number of individuals try to compartmentalize their Christianity by separating their beliefs from other areas of their lives. We’re either all in or all out. Christ Jesus never called anyone to part-time service. He also didn't call us to be a spectacle seeking the approval of man by diverting the Light or diluting the Gospel.

If we’re to truly make an eternal difference in the lives of others for Christ then our actions must match our words as light bearers. Ask yourself this question, “When those outside the Church look at my life who do they see?” Keep this in mind; light exposes the sin of mankind when held in comparison to Christ. Light also has the ability to draw or expel depending upon the heart.

Heed these words from John 3:30, “He must increase, but I must decrease.” Let the world see less of us and more of Christ as we serve as His bearers of Light.

Blessings,
Rod

Several years ago I had the privilege of sitting under one of the best Bible Teachers within the church I was attending.  The lessons he brought week after week were deep and based on a solid exposition of the passage, yet they were also practical, providing life applications based on the teaching of the Word.  I don’t know of many weeks that went by (if any) where this teacher would not work in a mention of “the old country preacher” who’s teaching he once sat under.  Often, when turning to the application portion of the lesson we would be reminded of that old country preacher’s words of wisdom:  “It’s the heart, stupid.”  I believe my reaction was always the same when I heard those words, a grin (mainly because I knew it was coming) and subtle nod to the teacher (because I not only agreed, but realized those simple words contained such a deep truth).

“It’s the heart, stupid,” would often be the answer to the questions that were being lobbed at us 20-somethings in that Sunday School class each week.  Why does anyone act, think, believe or behave the way they do?  It’s the heart, stupid.  While the saying is quite simple, its implications are profound.  As we search and study the Scriptures, particularly the New Testament teachings of Jesus, we see much attention given to the heart.  Put in a proper interpretation, we find that when Scripture speaks to the heart of man, it is not referring simply to the internal organ that pumps blood, but more to the very core of who man is.  It is where intellect and spirituality collide and is very closely tied to what we typically term the “conscience”.  When we begin to realize that the heart is so much more than a physical organ, that it is the driving factor behind emotion, desire and conscience we can then begin to answer the question:  Why? 

Why would one young person gun down another young person for a sandwich and a few dollars (a true story from our local news recently)?  Why would a wife and mother leave her husband and family for another man after 30 years of marriage (yes, also a true story)?  Perhaps on a more personal level, why do I struggle with [insert “pet” sin/addiction here]?  Why am I so angry?  Why am I so anxious? 

I have long found the study of why people behave, think and act they way they do to be extremely interesting.  I have read countless books and articles on why people are predisposed to certain addictions or lifestyles.  I have looked at personality profiles and birth order books in a quest to answer the question, why?  In all of that, I find that the clearest answer, the most Biblical answer is simply, “It’s the heart, stupid.” 

Let’s look briefly at what the Scriptures say about the heart.  The prophet Jeremiah speaking to the sin of Judah wrote, “The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately sick; who can understand it?” (Jeremiah 17:9).  Jesus, speaking on what defiles a person said, “For out of the heart come evil thoughts, murder, adultery, sexual immorality, theft, false witness, slander.” So, if we realize it is the heart that drives all that we do and according to the Scriptures “the heart is deceitful . . . desperately sick”, then the question becomes, how is this remedied?

The simple answer is, man needs a heart transplant or, to use a more theological term, man needs a regenerated heart.  The apostle Paul wrote "if m you confess with your mouth that Jesus is Lord and n believe in your heart o that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved. 10 For with the heart one believes and is justified, and with the mouth one confesses and is saved.”[1]  The change from lost to found, from sinner to saint, from wicked and deceitful to pure and holy, is in the heart and is purely a work of the Holy Spirit.  The Christian life is not about doing anything, it is a about a supernatural change to the heart (soul) of man that should result in righteous living. 

To answer our original question, why does one think, act, behave, etc. in the way they do?  It all comes back to what is going on in the heart.  Why does the wife leave her husband after 30 years?  Why do we struggle with sin?  It’s a heart issue.  It has nothing to do with trying harder or doing more, but has everything to do with having a heart that has been regenerated and is continually being renewed by the Holy Spirit and the Word of God.  To paraphrase a popular Christian writer, we must stop trying harder and start falling madly in love with Jesus Christ. 

Joshua West, MA

m Matt. 10:32; Luke 12:8; [1 Cor. 12:3; Phil. 2:11]
n See Acts 16:31
o [1 Pet. 1:21]; See Acts 2:24
The Holy Bible : English Standard Version. (Wheaton: Standard Bible Society, 2001), Rom 10:9–10.