Do you believe it is possible for the world to remain silent while you wait for the right moment to talk to your kids?
If you believe you can delay addressing gender and sexual topics until your child is ten, eleven, or twelve, you are mistaken. Right now, even if you think your young child is sheltered from cultural issues, the world is already engaging with them. Other parents grapple with finding the right words, while society loudly broadcasts its values—through social media, entertainment, and schools—making it impossible to compete once a child is deeply influenced by these sources.
The enemy speaks through cartoons, popular books, social media algorithms, and public-school policies, policies that often exclude you from the discussion.
Fear sets in. You ask yourself: "What if I say the wrong thing? What if I push them away?" Know this: it’s better to do something than nothing, because doing nothing is a form of surrender.
If you do not teach your children early about God’s design, the world will teach them its own views on gender and sexuality. Children will learn these lessons one way or another; you must decide whether it is you or outside influences who teach them. While I assume most readers of this article are Christian parents and grandparents, let’s keep in mind that Scripture is clear about our responsibilities when instructing the children God has entrusted to our care.
In this blog and its follow-up, I want to encourage you to move past the fear. I want to provide some biblical teaching and also help you communicate better with your child at every age. Specifically, I will attempt to share practical ways to interact and teach toddlers, elementary students, and teenagers biblical truths and principles. With these tools or suggestions, I hope to help you stand between your child and the confusion of this age, connecting every stage of their life with intentional conversations.
So, as we begin, let’s ask “what if these things happen to you. Your child comes home from school, the neighbor’s house, or even church with questions that make your stomach turn. Questions about multiple genders, transsexualism, homosexuality, and even things you haven’t discussed with your spouse. You think to yourself, "How do I even answer such questions? Am I prepared to speak the truth in love about such subjects?"
In a recent video (Before the Supreme Court Ruled, God Already Decided), I discussed the ideology of radical trans and homosexual movements in connection with big business and leftist politics. In that video, we reviewed passages from Romans and the Gospel of John. We established that biology is not a suggestion; it is divinely determined. God established two genders only from the beginning of time. Many who support these radical ideologies are also the same people who urged the world to “trust the science” during the COVID era, but now claim there are unlimited genders. What happened to “trust the science?” Gender is not, and has never been, “fluid.” That teaching is foolish.
Let’s also keep in mind that theology and science are not at odds. While the Bible isn’t a science book in the modern sense, it reveals and teaches truths that deserve to be part of everyday conversation. Truth doesn’t change.
Currently, at this time in history, our culture is systematically teaching our children a different gospel, a revised social gospel. This gospel is one that feeds the flesh carnally. Kids are hearing and seeing that gender is a belief based on how one sees and feels about oneself. Kids are constantly hearing that biology is a social construct, that truth is relative, and affirming a lie is the only genuine way to love others. Combine those teachings with certain leftist denominational teachings, and now your kids are looking at you as if you can’t be trusted because your message is vastly different than what they’re taught at school and sometimes in their youth groups. You’re now trying to catch up and teach them something different from what their new allies at school and church are teaching.
We cannot hope kids absorb Christian teachings by osmosis. We must intentionally teach them all Scripture from a young age. Numerous Old Testament passages commanded Jewish fathers to teach the Word at home, and we as Christians must do the same today.
The biblical foundation of the family reminds us that God created male and female, and any union or lifestyle outside of this design is sin, and instructing our children in any other way is an abomination.
To address these challenges, we will examine three stages in this blog and later in Part 2.
For our youngest children—those under seven—the goal is simple. We must establish that God’s design for boys and girls is good and that He makes no mistakes.
You don’t need complex lectures or cultural theory. Offer a simple, joyful truth. Affirm your child as a gift from God through your actions and words. How your children view you early in life shapes how they’ll view God. To become a trusted authority, be mindful of your actions and words.
Speak simply and consistently, repeating truths and positive affirmations about our children's identity and belonging to God.
Remind your children daily that God is real, right, and holy. Speaking about being created in His image reinforces this important truth, and then follow this up with scripture. Our children need to see and hear us reading the Word of God, again as a foundation and a reinforcement that in our homes we practice what we teach. Show them the Bible and let it have a prominent place in your life, not just on the bookshelf or a special table in your home.
So, start at the beginning, the book of Genesis.
Genesis 1:27 states that God created man in His own image; male and female He created them. The image of God (Latin: imago Dei) speaks to mankind’s immaterial spirit, distinguishing us from the animal world. (Sidenote: I remember one of my elementary public-school teachers teaching that human beings were just another kind of animal, but years later, I came to the understanding that my teacher was wrong.) Every child is a beautifully created being in God’s image, and this isn't an accident; it is a divine assignment. To be created in God’s image means we are moral, rational, and volitional agents living lives that are much more than instinctive and animalistic.
Some in our society encourage us to view gender and sexuality as flexible, suggesting that sex is "fluid" and that gender is on a spectrum. This argument promotes experimentation in both orientation and identity, which is both confusing, and from a biblical perspective, wrong. It is essential for parents, especially fathers, to intentionally teach children what the Bible says about who they are and what is right in all areas of life.
If you believe you can delay addressing gender and sexual topics until your child is ten, eleven, or twelve, you are mistaken. Right now, even if you think your young child is sheltered from cultural issues, the world is already engaging with them. Other parents grapple with finding the right words, while society loudly broadcasts its values—through social media, entertainment, and schools—making it impossible to compete once a child is deeply influenced by these sources.
The enemy speaks through cartoons, popular books, social media algorithms, and public-school policies, policies that often exclude you from the discussion.
Fear sets in. You ask yourself: "What if I say the wrong thing? What if I push them away?" Know this: it’s better to do something than nothing, because doing nothing is a form of surrender.
If you do not teach your children early about God’s design, the world will teach them its own views on gender and sexuality. Children will learn these lessons one way or another; you must decide whether it is you or outside influences who teach them. While I assume most readers of this article are Christian parents and grandparents, let’s keep in mind that Scripture is clear about our responsibilities when instructing the children God has entrusted to our care.
In this blog and its follow-up, I want to encourage you to move past the fear. I want to provide some biblical teaching and also help you communicate better with your child at every age. Specifically, I will attempt to share practical ways to interact and teach toddlers, elementary students, and teenagers biblical truths and principles. With these tools or suggestions, I hope to help you stand between your child and the confusion of this age, connecting every stage of their life with intentional conversations.
So, as we begin, let’s ask “what if these things happen to you. Your child comes home from school, the neighbor’s house, or even church with questions that make your stomach turn. Questions about multiple genders, transsexualism, homosexuality, and even things you haven’t discussed with your spouse. You think to yourself, "How do I even answer such questions? Am I prepared to speak the truth in love about such subjects?"
In a recent video (Before the Supreme Court Ruled, God Already Decided), I discussed the ideology of radical trans and homosexual movements in connection with big business and leftist politics. In that video, we reviewed passages from Romans and the Gospel of John. We established that biology is not a suggestion; it is divinely determined. God established two genders only from the beginning of time. Many who support these radical ideologies are also the same people who urged the world to “trust the science” during the COVID era, but now claim there are unlimited genders. What happened to “trust the science?” Gender is not, and has never been, “fluid.” That teaching is foolish.
Let’s also keep in mind that theology and science are not at odds. While the Bible isn’t a science book in the modern sense, it reveals and teaches truths that deserve to be part of everyday conversation. Truth doesn’t change.
Currently, at this time in history, our culture is systematically teaching our children a different gospel, a revised social gospel. This gospel is one that feeds the flesh carnally. Kids are hearing and seeing that gender is a belief based on how one sees and feels about oneself. Kids are constantly hearing that biology is a social construct, that truth is relative, and affirming a lie is the only genuine way to love others. Combine those teachings with certain leftist denominational teachings, and now your kids are looking at you as if you can’t be trusted because your message is vastly different than what they’re taught at school and sometimes in their youth groups. You’re now trying to catch up and teach them something different from what their new allies at school and church are teaching.
We cannot hope kids absorb Christian teachings by osmosis. We must intentionally teach them all Scripture from a young age. Numerous Old Testament passages commanded Jewish fathers to teach the Word at home, and we as Christians must do the same today.
The biblical foundation of the family reminds us that God created male and female, and any union or lifestyle outside of this design is sin, and instructing our children in any other way is an abomination.
To address these challenges, we will examine three stages in this blog and later in Part 2.
- Part 1, “Building the Right Foundation for Young Children,” ages birth to seven.
- Part 2, “The Reasons for Truth and Sharing the Why” for ages eight to twelve, and “Maintaining an Ongoing Conversation with Teens and Young Adults.”
For our youngest children—those under seven—the goal is simple. We must establish that God’s design for boys and girls is good and that He makes no mistakes.
You don’t need complex lectures or cultural theory. Offer a simple, joyful truth. Affirm your child as a gift from God through your actions and words. How your children view you early in life shapes how they’ll view God. To become a trusted authority, be mindful of your actions and words.
Speak simply and consistently, repeating truths and positive affirmations about our children's identity and belonging to God.
Remind your children daily that God is real, right, and holy. Speaking about being created in His image reinforces this important truth, and then follow this up with scripture. Our children need to see and hear us reading the Word of God, again as a foundation and a reinforcement that in our homes we practice what we teach. Show them the Bible and let it have a prominent place in your life, not just on the bookshelf or a special table in your home.
So, start at the beginning, the book of Genesis.
Genesis 1:27 states that God created man in His own image; male and female He created them. The image of God (Latin: imago Dei) speaks to mankind’s immaterial spirit, distinguishing us from the animal world. (Sidenote: I remember one of my elementary public-school teachers teaching that human beings were just another kind of animal, but years later, I came to the understanding that my teacher was wrong.) Every child is a beautifully created being in God’s image, and this isn't an accident; it is a divine assignment. To be created in God’s image means we are moral, rational, and volitional agents living lives that are much more than instinctive and animalistic.
Some in our society encourage us to view gender and sexuality as flexible, suggesting that sex is "fluid" and that gender is on a spectrum. This argument promotes experimentation in both orientation and identity, which is both confusing, and from a biblical perspective, wrong. It is essential for parents, especially fathers, to intentionally teach children what the Bible says about who they are and what is right in all areas of life.
Ephesians 6:4 (ESV) Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.
Let me ask you, do we really want the world to define our children's reality? Do we want a corrupt and sinful culture telling our children that they are simply animals and their bodies are meant for their own depraved and unlimited pleasure? Do we really want them to think their existence in this world is only relevant for the moment, that who they are is meaningless, and their ultimate goal in life is to please their physical bodies? The answer to each of these questions should be an emphatic NO. We want the Word to be foundational, and their goal to be pleasing and honoring to God. (Romans 12:1-2; 1 Thessalonians 2:4)
So, here is some practical advice for our little ones.
Our little ones will notice thousands of things in the world and ask questions about everything they see. As good apologists, we must be prepared to respond not only to the hope that lives within us (1 Peter 3:15) but also to support the children who rely on us, as parents and grandparents, to make sense of a fallen world. To put this into practice, keep the following in mind:
By intentionally applying these steps, we strengthen our role as trusted guides, fostering ongoing conversations and ensuring our children feel supported as they navigate difficult issues. Even as my sons have become adults, I still want them to come to me with challenging questions, and when they do, I value the meaningful discussions that result.
It is that simple. We are planting seeds of confidence in God’s sovereignty and His Word. If we don't celebrate our children and their God-given gender, identity, or distinctiveness, the world will try to convince them these are things to escape rather than gifts to be embraced.
In part two, we will address children from ages 8 to 18 and young adults.
Blessings,
Dr. Rod West
So, here is some practical advice for our little ones.
- Begin by revealing and promoting God in your speech. Our sons need to hear, "God made you just the way you are. God knew the world needed a boy just like you, and He has a plan for your life to glorify Him." And to your daughter, she needs to hear, "You are such a beautiful Girl, and God made you just as you were meant to be. He did it on purpose, and He doesn't make mistakes. I pray you bring much glory to His Name." Kids need to be pointed to the One and only God, who knew them in eternity past. Psalm 139:13 (ESV) For you formed my inward parts; you knitted me together in my mother’s womb.
- Teach children with clarity and honesty about their bodies. Use correct anatomical terms rather than made-up names, even if it feels uncomfortable. Do not avoid serious conversations; avoid using “baby talk.” Aim to build your child’s trust, as your authority may be challenged by other influences as they grow. If you sound cartoonish when they’re young, they may hear and see you in the same light when they are older. (Proverbs 23:15-16)
- Don’t hesitate to affirm biological realities. When your child is confused by what they see—such as seeing a man dressed as a woman, respond calmly and confidently. Say, for example: "That is a man. Some people are confused about their identity. They might be sick mentally (pointing to your chest or head might be helpful)." Or: "No, that’s a man who has chosen something against God's will. Remember, God made boys to be boys and girls to be girls." (Deuteronomy 22:5; Daniel 4:33; Romans 1:18-32; 1 Corinthians 6:9)
- When the topic of sex presents itself, don’t change the subject, because like a shark in chummed waters, kids can smell fear. When my oldest son was 6 years old, I remember him asking me a question about aids. His brother was just a few months old, and we were headed to a local restaurant on a Friday evening to pick up dinner. Listening to the news on the car radio (it was the early 90s), the reporter was speaking about the spread of this terrible disease. My son was curious and asked, “Dad, what is aids?” For a moment, I had a wave of fear come over me because I wasn’t ready to talk with him about sex, much less homosexuality. I took a breath, and what followed was about a five-minute conversation on inappropriate behavior, which was enough to satisfy his curiosity. We already had a conversation about where babies come from because of his brother's recent birth, and with that, he was on to another question.
Our little ones will notice thousands of things in the world and ask questions about everything they see. As good apologists, we must be prepared to respond not only to the hope that lives within us (1 Peter 3:15) but also to support the children who rely on us, as parents and grandparents, to make sense of a fallen world. To put this into practice, keep the following in mind:
- Listen attentively and patiently to your child’s questions without dismissing them.
- Provide clear, age-appropriate answers grounded in biblical truth and honesty.
- Encourage your child to approach you with further questions when confronted with confusing situations or ideas.
- Cultivate an open environment where curiosity is welcomed and not discouraged.
- Affirm to your child that, like our heavenly Father, you are always available to guide them through challenging topics.
By intentionally applying these steps, we strengthen our role as trusted guides, fostering ongoing conversations and ensuring our children feel supported as they navigate difficult issues. Even as my sons have become adults, I still want them to come to me with challenging questions, and when they do, I value the meaningful discussions that result.
It is that simple. We are planting seeds of confidence in God’s sovereignty and His Word. If we don't celebrate our children and their God-given gender, identity, or distinctiveness, the world will try to convince them these are things to escape rather than gifts to be embraced.
In part two, we will address children from ages 8 to 18 and young adults.
Blessings,
Dr. Rod West